It was noted in the beginning that it was not good for a man to be alone. We were created and made as a sexual species: from man came woman, and the first commentary in the Bible relates to the marriage of Adam and Eve.
So the Lord God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep, he took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. The Lord God then built the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman. When he brought her to the man, 23 the man said:
“This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; This one shall be called ‘woman,’
for out of man this one has been taken.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.
25 The man and his wife were both naked, yet they felt no shame.
This was before the fall. The idea of a marriage, bipolarity and difference between men and women was when things were good, and there was neither shame nor jealousy nor murder. Those were to come later.
We do not live as it was in the beginning. If we did, there would never be divorce, and the person we first vow our troth to we would live with forever. If the fall bought illness, sweat, toil and death, it also bought conflict within every marriage. We have all been cursed.
To the woman he said:
I will intensify your toil in childbearing; in painyou shall bring forth children. Yet your urge shall be for your husband,
and he shall rule over you.
To the man he said: Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, You shall not eat from it,
Cursed is the ground because of you! In toil you shall eat its yield all the days of your life. Thorns and thistles it shall bear for you,
and you shall eat the grass of the field. By the sweat of your brow
you shall eat bread, Until you return to the ground,
from which you were taken; For you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.
The man gave his wife the name “Eve,” because she was the mother of all the living.
There may be many who do not approach marriage thinking of a life long commitment. We have television shows that assume you marry at first sight, assuming you can just get divorced. Such is a corruption as sure as those who thing that marraige is for two men, or a polyamorous quintuplet.
The harder thing is that within the church marriages fail and fall. We do not teach well enough, and in Casa Weka we have both remarried: both of us were the innocent party, if any party can be innocent. This world is fallen, and the idea that we all aspire to does not happen.
All marriages end. I pray that my marriage ends when one of us dies, and that this does not happen for decades. But sometimes there is divorce.
We should fast and beg forgiveness whenever one of us ends up in this state. The pain of a divorce, and the damage to your spiritual walk, is at times lethal to faith if not life. Even with the best outcomes, there will be damage that you will have to undo.
The traditional churches teach that marriage is for live, and exceptions should be rare. These include the Mennonites and Calvinists and Orthodox. The non crunchy churches are more liberal.
If you think the fact that she attends an Evangelical church will do anything to stop a woman from divorcing her husband, think again. Most churches wouldn’t say a word. I recently heard from someone whose pastor justified a woman divorcing her husband and destroying her family because her husband had an “emotional affair,” an Evangelical invention that deserves a post of its own.
In the end, the supposed moral guardians at many churches have caved and will continue to cave into the pressure to conform to a culture that sees refusal to approve a woman’s desire to divorce for any reason as a vestige of patriarchal oppression.
None of this should surprise anyone familiar with the Evangelical subculture. Go to pretty much any Evangelical church service in this country, and you’ll notice that, in spite of all the media blather to the contrary, the people there are actually pretty “normal.” The mega-church on the corner is not full of reactionary firebrands bent on destroying the mechanisms of modernity.
In fact, most people there will be much more steeped in modernist modes of thinking than they are in traditional Christian belief. Most of them aren’t going to believe anything all that different from their secular neighbors. This is certainly going to be the case when it comes to feminism.
Feminism is just the name we give to the modern desire to overthrow the traditional structure of relationships between the sexes. Most people in church have fully assented to that project.
I have seen too many women say that their walking out was because they found that their husband was 'unfaithful' -- or was not spiritual enough -- or not caring enough. Often that man was faithful and often he was providing. But they did not think there was enough virtue in their lives. This is an error: it is the sin of pride, which often appears as seeking status, power and control.
This is the damage of the fall amplified by a society that will not teach about sexual sin. It is destructive. And it spreads.
Whence the self-hatred that’s back of divorce? Whence the impulse to demographic suicide?
If like most moderns you believe that life has no inherent meaning, is about nothing, and has no ultimate (or therefore ultimately real) purpose, then it is crazy to act as though you credited life with some meaning and purpose. If there is no point to life, why bother to reproduce?
Divorce, then, is a downstream sequela of the loss of faith: faith in God, faith in his people and their nations, faith in the goodness and meaningfulness of life, faith in the ultimate righteousness and excellence of virtuous acts, faith in the existence and goodness and pleasure of virtue, faith in the obligations of duty and honor.
If nothing matters ultimately, then in the final analysis nothing matters proximally. There is then no point in deferring gratification for the sake of some future – a fortiori, for the sake of futures of the lives of others, especially when they are as yet unborn. To defer present concrete and immediate gratification for the sake of values that do not ultimately exist would be madness – like burning money.
If marriage, family, society, nation, people, patrimony are all meaningless – about nothing, and amounting in the end to nothing – then it is foolish to sacrifice for their sake.
So you get faster and faster regress toward the zero of them all.
This is why there must be a Great Awakening if the West is to be saved. If the cults are all incredible, so then are their cultures, and no one will believe in them, much less sacrifice for them. So, atheist Reaction is a start, in that it is red pilled; but, unbaptized it is stillborn, bootless, moot. Lacking the allure of adventure both important and everlasting, it boils down to a meaningless life-style preference, a hobby like Civil War Re-enactment or World of Warcraft.
First God; then, and only then, all other things. Even given only the mere definition of “God” – that than which no greater can be conceived, by any mind – how could it possibly be otherwise?
I'm divorced, and I hate divorce more now that I have one. What is happening in New Zealand is that most couples who are not religious do not marry until they have cohabited for years, burdened themselves all too often with a mortgage and children... then they save up for the ceremony, spending much on dresses, photographers, videos, food, and entertainment while ignoring completely the need for the blessing of God. On such foundation not much can stand.
I'm reformed. We have a parsimonious theology of sacraments: seeing but two. Our Orthodox and Catholic Brothers have a broader set of such. But in practice the theology is not the problem. There are many Catholics who divorce, which is not allowed by Roman Canon. My Catholic brother has noted the problem correctly. We do not want to submit to the will of God.
Which is as it was in the beginning. It is not good for us to be alone. We are not commanded to wed (holy singleness is a Godly walk), but for those who do burn with desire should use this to build families and a life and a culture of honour and fidelity.
Divorce erodes this. Divorce is a cancer. We need to keep the family court away from our congregations: we need to shore up the marriages we have, and not let the state regulate our lives.
At this time it is better to learn from the Orthodox, who survived the Soviet trials, or the Mennonites, who resist the state. The state loves divorce, but the state belongs not Christendom, but to the pagans.
Do not align with them.